Thomas R. Leaf

Thomas Robert Leaf, born in Syracuse, NY, 1/11/1934, died in Coos Bay, OR 12/24/2024.

A quiet, introverted man with a wry sense of humor. He observed the world and felt unseen. He did not perceive how much people in general were charmed by his pleasant awareness of them and joking as if he knew what they were experiencing.  Store clerks called him Mr. Leaf all over town and was always surprised to be noticed.  He loved to say outrageous things to clerks about Susan, his wife.  I.e. “I’d come here more often, but she only gives me a few bucks each week.” or “This lady has been following me. Can you help me?” or “I hope she feeds some of this food to me.”

From 6 months old, he was passed from person to person or lived with mom’s new boyfriends.  His mother gave away three of her four children and would have put him in an orphanage too.  The man he thought was his father was part Mohawk. Dad rescued him from his mother and took him to live with his parents as he was a long-haul trucker.  Thomas thought he was a Mohawk Indian for years. He particularly loved his grandparents Adirondak cabin that had no electricity, indoor plumbing or running water. At age 9, he worked in the woods with grandpa horse logging; having no jacket and wearing street shoes, while using a cross-cut saw and double bit ax.  He was proud he got to drive the 2-ton truck of wood while grandpa walked behind selling it.

His mother took him for periods when she needed money. She took the child support and bought fancy clothes to party while telling him she never got child support.  His father later showed him the check ledger of all he had sent for him. Thomas’s only bitterness toward her was the years lost when he found out he had an older brother in town and was able to meet him.  His last stay with his mother resulted in her lying to the Navy recruiter to get rid of him at age 17.  He left her home for the Navy at 18 and finished a GED while there.

He adapted to the Navy and had a 22 yr. career seeing the world. It had structure, good housing and all the food he needed. It seemed like a family to him.  He was proud to be the coxwain of both an LCM and LCU in Vietnam in 1967 and 70.  He was there when a famous “ammunition dump” was hit and felt ten miles away. It went off for 4 days. He had an accident on the boat and was in a body cast for 5 months.  His biggest trauma was to find out his boat was blown up, losing all the men he was in charge of during his absence.  He retired from the Nimitz as a Chief. 

Over the years, he had over 40 different jobs from television editing and camera work to being a realtor.  PTSD traits were embedded into his personality; bossy, flashbacks, cantankerous, stubborn as a mule, impatient, over careful, compulsive, hyper vigilant, picky and depressed.  He wished people would care for the needy of this world instead of greedy ambition.  His eyes glazed over when fireworks were shot off, reminding him of Vietnam.  Thomas thought we should donate the money from fireworks to the needy.

His three children were the focus and joy of his life.  He was proud his eldest son, Kevin went into the Coast Guard.  When not on six months tour of duty he nurtured his kids, doing all the cooking, going to jiu jitsu with them, attending their games and school events. When his youngest genius son, Scott was in 3rd grade, Thomas found he didn’t understand any of the high-powered science.  So, he tried to read the books to converse with his son. His gorgeous cheer leader daughter, Autumn gave him a run for his money keeping her in line.  He lavished them with things they wanted, including road trips across the county visiting national parks and monthly visits to Disneyland.

Thomas charmed the socks off Susan Aviotti, his second wife, who was the love of his life.  For 29 years they lavished words of love on each other daily. He “tamed the shrew” and she loved him for it. They travelled across the world, always grateful to return to the USA.  Her children became like his own and they loved him greatly.  He learned how to trust, express himself, laugh and have fun. He joked and teased her a lot as she did him.  He didn’t know what to make of her dialed in spiritual life, but honored it.  He was a sensitive spiritual man, showing all the Fruits of the Spirit.  He was kind and generous to a fault.

He was against racism; was a self-described feminist, praying and longing for people to stop fighting and get along. He showed practical environmentalism by taking bugs out of the house and running the home by example.  He hoped before he died, he would see a nation of electric cars and solar heat.  Thomas had two friends in his life, one of which was Walt Strauss who was a Navy submariner and fellow realtor.  Walt died in September of 2024. He called his kids every Sunday night.  He was also very proud that his grandson, Tobias served in the Marines.

He leaves behind his three children: Kevin, Autumn and Scott Leaf. Karen and Heather MacLean (Susan’s daughter’s). Emily & Chon Bok Leaf (daughters in law). Sister Donna Piddock. Grandchildren: Sylvan Willow, Sequoia, Tobias, Aaron and Dragon Leaf, Gary Mulkey, Amanda and Jacob MacLean and Willow Bailey.  And nine great grandchildren. It is with loving acceptance of the full circle of life, Susan keeps her love and honor for him being an exemplary precious man. 

A family graveside inurnment service with military honors was held Monday, June 23, 2025 at 1:00 PM at Roseburg National Cemetery.

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